WHAT DOES IT REALLY TAKE TO BE A FOLLOWER OF JESUS?

Simple obedience? The word “obey” is one of the least used and understood words in American culture today. It seems antiquated, irrelevant and

YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU DO

You’ve just been introduced to someone for the first time. There are a couple of niceties exchanged and then without fail, almost

WHY YOU WILL WANT TO BE PHYSICALLY FIT

There are so many challenges you face every day, that if you don’t get in shape and toughen up, you will not

THE FOUR FOUNDATIONS OF A MAN’S LIFE

There are four areas of Life that every man faces every day. And the way they are handled will bring either joy

LEARN GOD’S TAKE ON MONEY

The Bible offers 500 verses on prayer, fewer than 500 verses on faith, and more than 2,000 verses about money!In fact, 15

GOD’S POWER TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

If you are a married man or plan on getting married you will expect to be happily married to the woman you

DEFINING SUCCESS FOR YOURSELF

"Show Me The Money!" That line out of the Tom Cruise movie, Jerry Maguire, pretty much tells the story for most American men.

8 STEPS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

Knowing what it takes to consistently love your wife in such a way that it guarantees that you will have a happy

7 STEPS TO CREATING INTIMACY WITH GOD

God made you. God loves you. God has a purpose for your life. The classic definition from the Westminster Catechism sums up our

WHO’S GOT YOUR BACK?

I’m a guy who, probably like you, prefers action movies. My favorites almost always seem to be battles of war based on

HOW TO HANDLE BULLIES!

There isn’t a single human on earth who at some point doesn’t have to deal with a bully. Define bully any way

MAYBE FOLLOWING JESUS ISN’T SUCH A GOOD IDEA?

“They left everything and followed him.” Lk 5:11After meeting Jesus the apostles made a radical decision that would change their lives forever. But

WHY IS THE “GOSPEL” CALLED GOOD NEWS?

Our men’s Bible study was looking to get a better grip on the meaning of the “Gospel. ”So we asked, “What exactly is

TAKING THINGS FOR GRANTED?

On occasion I’m able to walk the beach and catch a sunrise. The beauty and magnificence of God’s artwork can take anyone’s

HOW COME YOUR FAITH ISN’T GETTING YOU WHAT YOU WANT?

Okay so maybe you have been standing firm in your faith believing God for something you truly believe is His will. Could be

YOU CAN’T STOP GOD’S BLESSINGS!

Does it ever seem to you that sometimes God’s blessings are unstoppable?Unstoppable for others that is! Why does God do that? You peer

GOD’S POWER TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

GOD’S POWER TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

July 26, 20233 min read

If you are a married man or plan on getting married you will expect to be happily married to the woman you love …  “until death do you part.”

But the astounding rate of broken marriages doesn't seem to bear that out. Being a happily married husband is by far one of the greatest challenges for men today.

Why is that?

Because in our self-absorbed, what’s-in-it-for-me society, being a “godly” husband requires death! Death to your self-centeredness and selfish demands to be first.

That’s not my idea but God’s, written in His Word as instructions for us. “Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave up his life for her…” (Ephesians 5:25).

Indeed, Jesus Christ laid down His life for you. Are you willing to do the same for your wife?

If not, make it right. Don’t put it off. If you truly put her first, ahead of you, in everything, you will not only meet your wife’s needs, you will capture her heart. And a wife’s captured heart means you will be more loved and respected than you can imagine.

But there are three realities that will challenge you. 

1.   Putting her first requires the genuine want to, not the have to

Jesus did not have to die for you. He wanted to because He knew the outcome would be intimacy between you and God. While it may take intentional effort on your part, trying to force yourself into it will not work, and you will fail because she knew you were forcing it. And you will feel misunderstood, unappreciated and sorry for yourself.

You can literally create the new motive of want-to, over have-to, by focusing on the outcome. You want to have her love and respect you and this is the way to get it. God knows what is best for you (and her) and it’s why He gave you this instruction and example through Jesus. He will make good on it for you as you trust Him and follow through on it.

2.  It will take time to build up a proven track record

We are accustomed to getting what we want, when we want it, in our on-demand world. Anything that takes time and requires patience is a very foreign thing to us. But living this out consistently is key. As your wife begins to experience being put first, you will by default raise the bar on her expectations.

However, you will likely stumble and resort back to selfishness, which she will immediately notice. You will be tempted to give up on it. Don’t do it! Stay in there. Fight for it. Fight for her. Pick yourself back up and prove to yourself that you really can die to your selfish wants. It takes time. It takes practice and perseverance. And it will absolutely take something greater than yourself to pull it off.

3.  You are completely powerless to do this on your own

I don’t think you have to be convinced of how seemingly impossible it is to live unselfishly, always putting your wife first. To have any degree of success requires a source of power way beyond your own capabilities. It doesn’t matter if you have the discipline and perseverance of a Navy SEAL.

In your own strength you will fail.

It takes supernatural power. And that is why, when you fully and consistently surrender your life to the Lord, He, and not you, will be in charge. It’s not you sharing the throne with Jesus, but Jesus, through His Holy Spirit, running the show.

Jesus said, “Apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). But inChrist, “you can do all things” (Philippians 4:13). If you believe thatand act on it, you will have the power you need to live unselfishly and become more and more like Christ.

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GOD’S POWER TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

GOD’S POWER TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

July 26, 20233 min read

If you are a married man or plan on getting married you will expect to be happily married to the woman you love …  “until death do you part.”

But the astounding rate of broken marriages doesn't seem to bear that out. Being a happily married husband is by far one of the greatest challenges for men today.

Why is that?

Because in our self-absorbed, what’s-in-it-for-me society, being a “godly” husband requires death! Death to your self-centeredness and selfish demands to be first.

That’s not my idea but God’s, written in His Word as instructions for us. “Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave up his life for her…” (Ephesians 5:25).

Indeed, Jesus Christ laid down His life for you. Are you willing to do the same for your wife?

If not, make it right. Don’t put it off. If you truly put her first, ahead of you, in everything, you will not only meet your wife’s needs, you will capture her heart. And a wife’s captured heart means you will be more loved and respected than you can imagine.

But there are three realities that will challenge you. 

1.   Putting her first requires the genuine want to, not the have to

Jesus did not have to die for you. He wanted to because He knew the outcome would be intimacy between you and God. While it may take intentional effort on your part, trying to force yourself into it will not work, and you will fail because she knew you were forcing it. And you will feel misunderstood, unappreciated and sorry for yourself.

You can literally create the new motive of want-to, over have-to, by focusing on the outcome. You want to have her love and respect you and this is the way to get it. God knows what is best for you (and her) and it’s why He gave you this instruction and example through Jesus. He will make good on it for you as you trust Him and follow through on it.

2.  It will take time to build up a proven track record

We are accustomed to getting what we want, when we want it, in our on-demand world. Anything that takes time and requires patience is a very foreign thing to us. But living this out consistently is key. As your wife begins to experience being put first, you will by default raise the bar on her expectations.

However, you will likely stumble and resort back to selfishness, which she will immediately notice. You will be tempted to give up on it. Don’t do it! Stay in there. Fight for it. Fight for her. Pick yourself back up and prove to yourself that you really can die to your selfish wants. It takes time. It takes practice and perseverance. And it will absolutely take something greater than yourself to pull it off.

3.  You are completely powerless to do this on your own

I don’t think you have to be convinced of how seemingly impossible it is to live unselfishly, always putting your wife first. To have any degree of success requires a source of power way beyond your own capabilities. It doesn’t matter if you have the discipline and perseverance of a Navy SEAL.

In your own strength you will fail.

It takes supernatural power. And that is why, when you fully and consistently surrender your life to the Lord, He, and not you, will be in charge. It’s not you sharing the throne with Jesus, but Jesus, through His Holy Spirit, running the show.

Jesus said, “Apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). But inChrist, “you can do all things” (Philippians 4:13). If you believe thatand act on it, you will have the power you need to live unselfishly and become more and more like Christ.

Back to Blog

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